My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
