Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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