One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
