you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
