remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
