I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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