I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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