Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
