I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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