maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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