so explain again why im purple
no
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
