oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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