he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
