Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
