I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
