Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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