his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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