it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
