Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
