Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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