cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
