just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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