No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
