Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
