The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
