Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
