It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
