im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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