Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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