was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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