Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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