he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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