I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We need to get me chipped asap
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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