He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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