another moral hangover. fuck.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
