they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
