So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
