Do you still have your period?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
