another moral hangover. fuck.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
