Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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