I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
