"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
