So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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