i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
