I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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