Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
