We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
