Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
