Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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