I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
